a "Critical Incident"

Words. Words can turn something ugly and painful and just plain bad into a homogenized event meant to be "debriefed" from and "coped" with.

My friend and work colleuge was killed in an auto accident on her way to work Tuesday night. All of the people at my work were close to her, sometimes among us it feels more like a family. We have lost a dear sister. This is the second friend of mine who has died far too young and tragically, I can only hope and pray that the rest of my friends live to be a ripe old age and we drop dead over a card game at the retirment home.

In responce to what has been a shock for all of us, the higher ups handed out a flyer today in an attempt to help us deal with things. Don't get me wrong, the gesture is genuine and I believe the higher ups really do want to help us all.

But the wording of the memo is like a gust of frosty air to the soul. The session we were invited to to share our feelings about our friends death is a "Critical Incident Stress Debriefing".

What the hell?! A WHAT???

The cold hand of icy corporate american has managed to infilitrate our most sacred places, even the death of a friend. A horrible event fraught with pain and human emotion has been worded and categorized into a sensless numb oblivion. Into a report. Into an "incident". As if the lack of the words "death" and "gone" or "killed" or "missed" will somehow strip the pain and emotion from a very horrible thing.

I don't want a damn debriefing. I don't want to talk about the "stress" of the "critical incident".

I want to talk about my friend. How we will all miss her. How we will miss her laugh, her smile, her biting wit and humor. No memo, no session, no corporate sponsored BS talking group will erase the pain and hurt mixed with the bitter sweet memories of a good friend.

Nor should it.